Having an "off" day worship leaders?

Hey worship leaders, have you ever been off? I mean had an off day like you never believe? That is the kind of day I had on Sunday. I have a bad temper. Did you know that? If not, you probably have not been able to get to know me outside of church, or college. My praise team knows it though. I got worked up this Sunday about some of the dumbest things, and then when I had gotten myself back under control, I broke the strings on my guitar 2 minutes before the service. My mind went haywire! I switched instruments over, and played the keys instead of the guitar, but by this time I had lost complete focus on what we were here to do: worship. I apologize to any of you who were there this week, because my heart was not in the right place. I was focused to much on me, and not enough on Him. From listening to the service recordings, musically we were reasonable (considering all the last minute changes) but emotionally we were out to lunch as a band. We were not engaged in the music/worship at all. This falls solely on me as the leader. I have heard of guys who admit that they have “gone through the motions” for months at a time, but man that must be a terrible way to make a living. I say make a living, because that is all you are doing if you were in the place I was on Sunday, because my heart was not in it, and I tell you it was a very lonely place to be. You see, I had gotten all hyped up about our set list, which I post in just a moment – because I really love these songs. However, my attention was placed entirely on how I was going to do this, or play that, or make people laugh here. I had basically told God – OK I got this one – and he let me have it all alone. I have never felt so alone in the middle of chaos. Sure, I have felt alone before – but this was different, almost eerie. Seconds ticked by slowly, while all I wanted them to do is fly by. In the midst of screaming guitars, loud in ear monitor mixes, and my poor vocals - all seemed quiet - I was all alone.

Here is what I had to live out in front of our church Sunday.
Prov 16:19 Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.

2 comments:

  1. Nice confession, Milo, and it's nice you were able to recognize this on day one. It sounds like you need to let out some stress. Why don't you and Mark do the Baker's Dozen and see if that help :)

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  2. Milo - met you this week at the Vision Tour Greenville. Mckelvie here, and GREAT POST. As I read it, I was reminded of how often I'd lose my cool with my band and volunteers when I first started this whole worship leader thing. We want things to be excellent and effective, and sometimes we can be so focused on that, that we forget that the people we work with are more important than the project we're working on. Blessings to you brother for your honesty and humility. I hope to hear more from you. Be good, be blessed, and be loved this week man!

    grace&peace
    mckelvie

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