On Sunday we celebrated Mother's Day. If you've lost your mom or your child, I'm sure you'd like to blot this date from your calendar. But would that do any good? It certainly wouldn't make your grief disappear.
Disclaimer: I am not a mother, but I've had a number conversations with those I love, who are :-)
This year, this weekend was especially nice for us, as we were able to host the entire extended family on my wife's side for the evening. This was a big deal, because we have been working on a home remodeling project for nearly a year, and having everyone in the "finished" family room was a pretty special treat. Yes, it was very nice.
It was a very nice distraction, truth be told. Mother's Day can be a difficult day for our family as it is a reminder of Josiah Nathaniel, our little guy we lost to a congenital heart defect called HLHS back in 2010. Josiah was only 8 months old, but we are still hearing stories about how his life impacted and changed the world!
If you're struggling with grief this Mother's Day, know that you're not alone in your experience. Many of you have shared with me how you flinch every time Mother's Day is mentioned: every time you open an email, hear a radio or TV ad, or walk past advertising with promotions on flowers and dark chocolate.
Can I share a few somethings with you? They're not going to sock you, and they're probably not going to change your life... but sometime you just need permission to feel what you are feeling:
1. It's ok not to be ok... but you still might not be ok.
Grief has a way of sneaking up on a person when they least expect it. While this can take a person off-guard, most people see it as a blessing, because it means that we haven't forgotten about the person we love. The pain is real, but it reminds us once again of the depth of the relationship of the loved one we lost.
2. Tomorrow is another day... but it could be another similar day.
If today is tough because I brought Mother's Day up again after you thought it was behind you; take a breath, cry it out, and try again tomorrow. Getting "better" doesn't mean that we "get over" grief, it means that we learn to celebrate it. My wife is more beautiful, more strong, and more determined than ever to be a great mother since embracing the loss of our little champion.
3. God makes broken things beautiful... but you might still be broken.
Josiah lived his entire eight months on this planet somewhere on the bubble between dire emergency and urgent critical care. As his parents, this could feel incredibly defeating. However, a little good news, a tiny ray of hope was enough to sustain us for days and days. Grief can feel defeating in a very similar way, however though you still are broken, can you see the beauty in the little things?
5. Grief is a ray of hope. A reminder calling us to engage the Author of Life.
Let's face it. Very few of us are good about seeking help from others when we need it. But have you sought after the One who knows all things? Have you asked for His help on this one? Have you told Him how hard it is to deal with your loss? Have you asked him to give you something to live for? My good news, my ray of hope in this life is found in Jesus Christ."We have this certain hope like a strong unbreakable anchor holding our souls to God Himself." Hebrews 6:19
Good Grief. It's Mother's Day
Pastor Milo
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